Dzuka Malawi:  New names for President Chakwera

After elections, I go on mandatory six months break. Yes sought of writing quarantine. I thought I would write again in January 2021. But hey, the new President has more nick names in six months than five of his colleagues before him.

Imagine, in six months, the word itsanana has disappeared from social media, replaced by Siku transport, Kwenda Jenda, Matako akana Pansi and recently Vilemi Dazi. Seriously Peter Mutharika the immediate past one had only “adadi, clueless, a ton of bricks, and prince of thieves”.

Joyce Banda before Mutharika only had “Chiwongolero, Abiti Kuyenda, Abiti mundege,  Azungu Andiuza and Mpavuuu”.

Bingu wa Mutharika had “Chitsulo cha njanje, Mose wa lero, Ndikunyenyani, I am not Jesus and Mr Stupid”.

Bakili  Muluzi carried “Makolija, Agama, Mwini Matipate, Anyamata a pa town, Kuchitekekete and of course Atchair”.

Kamuzu Banda had over 50 of them, include ‘Mpulumutsi, Alidzi’ but  won’t repeat  all of them here.

These titles either means the public is admiring you or rising against you. They mean you are popular in delivering your promises or failing.

Bingu became “Mose wa lero” for improving the economy and making us feel fresh again.

JB was a dear Chiwongolelo from saving us from the DPP train derail.

Muluzi mwini matipate for simply knocking off Kamuzu. And Chakwera itsanana was acknowledgement that Malawians felt good and honoured that their will had prevailed.

Six months down the feeling, the President is being referred as “Siku transport with its slogan- here today, there tomorrow.”

Let’s take this week I am writing, Salima Armed Forces, Nkhatbay planting trees, Karonga security houses launch before that you find a President with an engagement every week.

The President should travel yes, but only when necessary. For projects I would advise State House to only accept invitation to open houses or project not launch it. Launches should be left to heads of departments.

Then you have the Vice President loudly proclaiming he will inspect 335 projects across the country. Is that really his job? How different is it from Ministerial site visits and what impact will his eyes seeing have to the project save for a few podium directives?

Seriously MG 1 and MG2 convoys competing in crisscrossing the country? They never paid attention whilst many slept outside the shops looking for cheap fertilizer. They never paid attention while hospitals like Kamuzu lack scanning equipment, they never pay attention that jobs are being lost every day as taxes go up and MRA acts like an enemy of small businesses.

They never pay attention to that Ministers are implicated in all sorts of shady deals from Nocma to State House to contracts with Asian businesses. They don’t pay attention that an Asian owned company got a US$15 million-dollar water contract when a Malawian owned charged US$12 million.

Then they have National-In-Law in Chief trying to justify useless things from Jerusalem risk to Mozambique ill-advised decision to announcement of new Kamuzu Academys when kids in primary schools are still being killed by trees and classrooms.

The first six months of the administration look clueless and out of touch with reality. They seem to be happy to eat the money and enjoy the job. Their priority has been to bloat a cabinet, hire advisers for everyone, hire a spokesperson, personal assistant, a driver, and a guard for each Minister.

Then tell Malawians- we are going to Jerusalem and Lagos (Nigeria capital is Abuja), ask the unemployed youth to create jobs, dismiss critics and blame DPP cadets for sabotage when they are still using the same generators to steal, the same Nocma to eat and the same Asians to rip off Malawians.

As we wrote during the DPP regime and PP regime, arrogance has a price. So far Tonse Alliance has started off badly, very bad, that soon their name tag will be longer than any other President, unless of course, they change.

Please don’t ask Malawians to create jobs, you promised 1 million jobs to deliver them. Anyone who tried to reason with you was mocked. You promised a universal subsidy, we are waiting. You promised free water and electricity connections, we are waiting. You promised us a cheaper passport and driver’s license, find a way to  give us. That was the contract you offered, we accepted it.

If you won’t deliver, well JB and APM will tell you how we do it in Malawi. President sabweleza masiku ano akamanvela anthu otumbwa ngati Chisale. I hope MCP will stop fighting SKC and all work together to deliver their promises. Dzuka Malawi, Dzukani a President, zinthu sizilibwino

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